


An Ever-Fixed Mark

by morganmuffle



Category: Twelfth Night - Shakespeare
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 18:19:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/600736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morganmuffle/pseuds/morganmuffle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year after the events of the play Antonio is back by the shore, alone, but can a love as deep and true as his and Sebastian's ever really run out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Ever-Fixed Mark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zlot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zlot/gifts).



The small hut on the shore belonging to Antonio was starting to look inhabited again after standing empty for a year or more. Local farmers and fishermen noticed the nets hanging from its eaves had been mended and the path from its door to the beached fishing boat was clear of the long grass that covered the surrounding dunes.

Antonio had slipped back into his quiet life as if he'd never left and yet, after delivering the milk and cheese each week, the farmer's boy noted he looked paler and more serious than he ever had before.

The children who scavenged along the shoreline whispered of his strange moods. Antonio the gentle who had pointed them to treasures of glass and wood when he spotted them seemed to have been replaced by a silent and slightly frightening man and they agreed if they found another man drowning they'd run for Farmer Marco and not Antonio again.

* * *

One calm afternoon, almost six months after Antonio's return, the children had finished their working combing the beach when they saw him pulling his boat up the beach. He was singing quietly and the sound, brought to the children's ears on the wind, attracted them so much that they ran, giggling quietly, to hide in the dunes around his hut.

They hid behind the long grass with their heads tucked down beneath the sandbanks listened to him humming as he dragged his boat up the beach and carried the day's catch into his house.

"When that I was and a little tiny boy,  
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,  
A foolish thing was but a toy,  
For the rain it raineth every day."

As the children listened they suddenly realised a second voice was joining Antonio's, it sounded young and strong and it seemed to be coming from inside the hut.

"But when I came to man's estate,  
With hey, ho, the wind and..."

Antonio's singing trailed off and there was a sudden silence filled only by the quiet sound of the waves and the oldest of the scavengers peered slowly out from behind his dune.

"Who..." Antonio started to speak but stopped again and seemed to be staring at someone standing just inside the door of his hut. "But why..."

The suddenly a young man stepped out of the shadows.

" _Sebastian_ ," Antonio's voice sounded quiet and unnatural to the watching children and then suddenly the two men were embracing and laughing.

"I did not think to see you in my doorway again," Antonio smiled and then suddenly looked over Sebastian's shoulder. "You have not brought your lady wife to this hovel have you?"

"No, not my beloved sister or her honoured lord," Sebastian laughed. "Am I not enough for you anymore?"

Antonio started to deny this but Sebastian just shook his head and laughed. "I think perhaps we should have further questioning inside away from the prying eyes and ears of sand imps."

And with that he looked straight into the eyes of the oldest boy who gasped and turned red.

Antonio turned round and surveyed the dunes.

"Troublesome imps! Luca, Maria, Fabian and is that little Paola you've dragged along? It's time you were home with your treasures."

Slowly the children stood but Antonio and Sebastian did not seem angry, only amused, so with slightly embarrassed expressions they went on their way home discussing in whispers whether Sebastian would be there to stay or not.

* * *

As the children left Sebastian led Antonio into the small hut and sat at the rough wooden table watching as Antonio safely stowed the day's catch and poured them both a mug of ale.

"So," Antonio started and then stopped abruptly to take a deep draught of ale. "Have you run from your lady love so soon?"

" _I_ do not run out on my friends without first taking my leave of them!" Sebastian's voice was low but his eyes flashed with an emotion Antonio could not identify. "Olivia is safe and well and has given me leave to... well, to travel a little."

"And your estates in Illyria and Messaline? Will they be safe in your absence?"

"My lady Olivia manages our Illyrian estates admirably, better than I would manage in her absence and I have stewards in Messaline though I would wish to visit there soon but it surprises me to hear your concern after so long a silence."

Sebastian put his mug down and regarded Antonio with a determined expression.

"To be so suddenly deprived of your company and good advice when I was still learning my place in Illyria was a hard lesson and would have been so even if I had known of your departure in advance but to leave as you did, quietly creeping away with the last of the Christmas revellers? January was long, cold and lonely without you."

"Lonely?" Antonio looked away from Sebastian's searching eyes and instead studied his hands. "You were but a few months married lad and with your sister so joyously returned and a new household around you how could you be lonely? You had family and friends and employment and despite my lord Orsino's kind pardon I was only ever a temporary guest, dependent on the sufferance of those who I have injured in the past."

"Not sufferance..."

"Let me speak," Antonio looked back at Sebastian. "My love for you never wavered and I would have followed you to all the corners of the world but to watch you as you found a new wife and a new home all the while knowing there was no place for me as you would not let me serve you and I had no right to call you by a dearer name."

Antonio took a shaky breath but held Sebastian's eyes.

"There was always a place for you at my side," Sebastian spoke quietly. "You pulled me from the sea and brought me back to life when I would have happily drowned. Without you I would never have seen my fair sister again, never found a lady such as Olivia who is an able help-meet and is as understanding a wife as exists in this wide world."

The quiet whisper of the wind filled the space between them as Antonio felt his heart leap with hope despite all the counsel he had tried to calm it with since his return.

"My place is always at your side, as yours is at mine and though I call you friend the name I call you by is the dearest name to me of all save only that of Viola." Slowly, as if he was afraid Antonio might leave again; Sebastian reached across the table and took Antonio's hands in his. " _My Antonio._ "

"My heart believes your words and longs to answer them in kind by Sebastian how can you say such things when your wedding is barely a year past?"

"My wedding day passed like a dream, as did all those early days in Illyria when I was mistaken for my sister and it seemed as if the whole world had run mad. Olivia has been the kindest of women and I love her dearly but she has no need of an everyday husband. She likes my stories and to be brought presents and wooed but she has been mistress of her house for many years and she would be hurt by my attempts to take the control that is, in law, rightfully mine."

"And so you have left her?"

"No! We are husband and wife and that is an eternal bond but she has freed me from the duties of staying by her side. She knows better than any how I grieved at your departure and she has said to me more times than I can count that she sees I would be happier travelling the world or working so long as I had a dear companion by my side."

Sebastian's hands tightened their grip on Antonio's.

"I cannot promise you all my heart as I must always leave a little with my wife but, _my_ Antonio I would, if you allowed it, always be by your side. The months I spent here returning to health and helping with your nets would, without the fear for me sister, have been the happiest I have spent anywhere."

"And so you would leave Illyria and your fine house, clothes and food for the life of a humble fisherman?"

"If that is what you wish then, for part of the year at least, I would and yet my fondest wish..."

Sebastian stopped uncertainly and looked down at where his hands were joined with Antonio's.

"Speak," Antonio lifted his hands, bringing Sebastian's with them and pressed a gentle kiss to Sebastian's fingers, "my better sense says I should doubt your words but if you have any wish I can fulfil then my love leads me to promise it."

"I wish to see Messaline again, to visit my estates and my father's grave, and then I would travel wherever the wind and the fastest ships would take me. My sister and I were near the start of our voyage when our ship was wrecked and I still long to learn more of the world beyond the lands that are so familiar to me. I have not even travelled to the borders of Illyria!"

As Sebastian finished speaking Antonio nodded slightly and then moved to stand up, pulling Sebastian to stand in front of him beside the door of the hut.

"Adventuring then?" he smiled and looked out towards the rolling waves. "I had thought my travelling days were over with the wars but there are places I have dreamt of showing you even when I told myself our time together was past."

"You will come then? To Messaline and beyond?"

"I will come," Antonio let go of one of Sebastian's hands and curled his fingers around his cheek. "I will follow you wherever the gentle gods lead us." 

Sebastian smiled and leaned in to Antonio's touch as Antonio pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

" _My Sebastian_ " he whispered into Sebastian's skin and then pulled him into a tight hug laughing with a joy he had never thought could be his.

**Author's Note:**

> I loved this prompt and I only hope I've done it justice! The title is of course from Sonnet 116
> 
>  
> 
> _Love is not love. Which alters when it alteration finds,_  
>  Or bends with the remover to remove:  
> O no! it is an ever-fixed mark.  
> That looks on tempests and is never shaken.
> 
>  
> 
> One of my favourite sonnets and one which reminds me of Antonio's seagoing ways and his deep adoration of Sebastian.


End file.
